A mid-life crisis every other week

Hey guys!

So I wanted to put out an entry on here that basically explained my life goals. Not that I assume you’re that invested in my future life, but more to hold myself accountable when I inevitably read this months down the line.

I am currently working in a coffee shop full time, so there are times where I just can’t do anything else but put 100% effort into my job and then 100% effort into sleep. I couldn’t even commit to posting a googled number image for plastic free July. Life just gets in the way. I am super type A when it comes to some aspects in my life, and then others I let fall through the cracks so easily you’d think they were greased. What is embarrassing is sustainability is something I actively care about and spend most of my free time consuming all information, and yet I just can’t seem to get my shit together.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s like debt – where do I start? I have this blog, I write for an online magazine, I have my Instagram, and I have my YouTube. None of them are creating waves by any means and most of my followers are friends or friends of friends. I haven’t put my whole self into any aspect of my online personality and it shows – big time. I make money from blogging and YouTube, but Instagram is the easiest to maintain. When I do have a free moment I get so torn on which social media platform I want to put effort into. So I’ve found myself making excuses and stretching myself thin trying to make sure I’m active on all platforms. I’m failing. At this point it feels like homework and I get overwhelmingly guilty and beat myself up every time I spend a day cleaning our apartment or if we go out on adventures for the day instead of staying inside and putting together a calendar to keep me on schedule.

It’s hard to fail at something you actually care about, and if you care about it you won’t make excuses and you find a way. I have found a way to form a cuddle puddle with my dog Pickle everyday, I can find a way to actually put time and effort into the one thing in life that I feel like I could do for the rest of my life.

So with all that rambling, I want to formally tell my future self “REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE HERE!”. I get so caught up in learning new skills for work, or spending too much time catching Pokemon I forget why I am typing this in the first place. This planet is dying and the vast majority of people don’t seem to care. I can pick up trash while I hunt for Pokemon. I can leave work at work and come home and focus on my career. I have officially decided to kick myself in the butt and get mother-cussing going. If you’re reading this and are currently not exactly where you want to be, feel free to share and we can hold each other accountable. It’s exhausting, but looking back on the past and how far you could be now if you started then is a lot more taxing.

From here on out all my time and effort will be towards making the world a better place. That is going to come first whenever free time is cashed in. If we go out to dinner, no excuses as to why I forgot my mason jar or ecolunchbox for leftovers. If we have an adventure day, I need to document it all and show why eco-friendly lifestyles are important and how easy it can be when you want it to be. No more buying lunch at work on the regular, I can do so much better.

One of my biggest struggles currently is watching YouTube for hours on end and then watching how crappy quality my videos are in comparison. I need to stop being a perfectionist and just put out content. I need to get into a routine and I know I will grow in time, I just have to be patient with myself.

If you made it to the end of this post, you’re a magical unicorn because I assume the only person reading this will be future Audrey. So future Audrey I hope you got all your ducks in a row and made all the other type A first born kids out there proud and made lists and spreadsheets. Also, please give future Pickle a kiss for me.

 

Thanks!

Audrey

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